Peanut Butter ‘n Jelly


So something has been on my mind, what’s new, due to social media and people just blatantly saying what they think without actually thinking.

What is this post about?
The desperation to be married, as if it is an accomplishment.

It’s not, by the way.

Being a married woman, I am going to tell you, that it’s not thrilling, it’s not an end goal.. in fact, it’s hard work, it’s limiting, and although I have someone who lets me go for the stars, it is restrictive of what you can actually do.

There are some women on my facebook, who will post food they have made, or something they have done, and will hash tag it, #futurewifematerial or #readytogetmarried, or some shit like that.

These people aren’t too educated.. and clearly have never read any type of feminism theory in their life, which.. I mean, I can’t ‘dog’ on per say, who does that in their spare time unless they go to school for it, anyways.

These are the same people that try to post “inspirational” posts, that no one really finds inspiring, that say they are doing muscle building, which includes home body weight or 5 lb workouts, and that they are “breaking the stereotype” by doing male workouts.

Let me just point out fifty million things wrong with that as well.

one; muscle building isn’t just for men.
In fact women do it,
women do shows for it,
women have been doing it for generations,
it’s just a fucking healthy thing to do.

two; using 5 lb dumbbells, is still in the category of “female wimpy workouts” to me. Now, I am super pumped they are doing something for themselves, being healthy, and turning their life around… but please, for the sake of us that do 200 lb squats, 250 lb deadlifts, or more, please kindly shut the fuck up. You are not “slaying” anything, maybe in a few months or years you will start really #girlswholift, but for now, kindly just stay to your beachbody hash tags. (this is super stupid to vent about, so I apologize lol)

three; I’m going to revert back to that male vs female stereotype.
Girls who train, or girls who lift, was a hash tag started by people really focusing on muscle building, lifting heavy, and doing intense body competitions.
To be fair, I have been lifting for 6 years, and bodybuilding for maybe 1.
I am no where near those competitors and I am working my way there.
I am not perfect. Far from it.
But for these people, who just do beach body stuff, to even make a statement on social media that, “who says girls can’t lift weights,” well.. no one, actually.
No one says that any more.
But 5 lb dumbbells is not “body building,” or “muscle intensity,” you are in fact toning your body, which is rad, but don’t put up this false misinterpretation to others that you can help them get crazy muscles, when in fact you don’t know what you are saying. (This is more so aimed at the people that are now “fit and health coaches” that literally have no sense of nutrition, goals, or how to scientifically build their muscles yet give advice to other people about how to eat which literally makes me afraid for those people)
And girls are starting to see that it takes a hell of a lot of weight lifting and protein to actually gain bulk muscle,
a lot of women are realizing the benefits of lifting decently heavy to sculpt their body instead of slaving on the treadmill for an hour every day (death).
However, this again, kind of revert to the end goal of being feminine, needing to have a spouse, and saying that you are “breaking the stereotype” or that you have to because of social norms, is insane.

I guess I am salty about products or companies that are like herbalife, shakeology, or beach body. I think they started with good intention, but nothing should really be focused on a “Quick fix” result, that will make you gain weight the moment you decide you are going to stop drinking your nutrition… which I don’t believe in also.
Those companies don’t TEACH you how to live on your own, like I am learning now.

I understand carbs, how they break down, fat content, and learning that shit like pasta and white rice, and flour is just a no go for people who have shitty metabolisms like myself, but in reality we shouldn’t eat them any ways.


my bad.

But this idea that you need to strive to find someone.
That the end goal is to become a good “wife” that cooks for her husband.
The end goal that we should “Stay in shape” for our husbands.

Is bull shit.

I body build because I want to be strong.
I want to beat a mental disease.
To be honest I don’t think my husband wants me to be buff and tough, but thats just too damn bad.
He compliments me often tho, so maybe I am wrong.
But I am most certainly not doing this for him.

But when I started doing this, I was.
And thats why I fell so much.
It was for his approval, and for my confidence of his approval.

Now I just want to be jacked.
Also I cut my hair SUPER short.

He always liked long hair.
But… doesn’t look good on me.

So you can say that I have control of myself.
And being married, ya, sometimes its not as freeing as people think it will be.
You have to work around their schedule.
you cant really travel when you want without them (although I have several plans of trips without him for my photography)
and I would have moved to portland or seattle if we wouldn’t have made it official again… and since we did, I kind of ripped myself of that experience.

But I am experiencing other things now, which is neat.

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