Blank Walls

I’d like to consider myself an educated person. I feel like there is so much to learn, however I have learned a lot. I try to remain as open as possible. Throughout this last week, there has been a part in me that is hoping I am proven wrong on a lot of topics and ideas that have come to mind. I HOPE that my mind is convinced otherwise that things will not get too bad, however, the little flame of hope isn’t there yet.

In the last few days I have been called a ‘libtard’ a ‘freefaller’ and other condescending terms because I have stuck up for other groups in this country. In fact, I find all of this ironic, because although people like me are hating on Trump’s name, he is one person. We are hating on him because we cannot even begin to comprehend someone that speaks the way he does, leading our country, our troops and our children. What a role model he is to trash on captured people in the military, what a role model he is to call those who served us immigrants, what a role model he is to mock the disabled. No. I can’t call that my president and I will not. So, he has given us reason to despise him. Yet, when I speak out about it, all of a sudden, to those who support Trump, I am ‘carrying on the hatred,’ or ‘pressing fear,’ but guess what? I can’t hurt and effect millions of people.. I am simply voicing out against one evil monster, which in return is how Hitler began his power, by people voicing out at others [like myself] speaking out against this monster because we are not easily tricked, we do our research, and we do not fall into the trends too easy.

I know when something is wrong. I know when things don’t feel right. I am not fooled easy by random words chucked into a sentence. There are protesters in the streets, there are riots, our country is 100 percent divided. I am mostly fearful of going back to the economy before we had Obama. I don’t know what country other people are talking about but this is literally the best time to be alive, the best economy we have had in awhile, and our market is up. I don’t know what tragic atmosphere republicans are talking about… is it because we are helping everyone and not just rich white dudes?

I’ve snapped at my husband a few times who has told me this will all be okay, because he is a white male, and I am a white female, if any thing this will effect me 5% and him 0%… this wont effect us, this effects millions of others, including animals … and that is not okay with me.

I know that overnight our country will not fall, and I am already looking forward to 2020. What just baffles me right now, is all of those who supported this trying to bash on those who are mad about it, would they not be mad if Hilary won? Would they just say, “oh fuck it,” and go on with their life? No. There would be backlash regardless.

I keep trying to be that silent person on Facebook. I keep trying to be the person that has little to say on social media, however it’s almost impossible to me. I know that I would be that person trying to take down a person who has taken over a plane, instead of the one in their seat obeying the traitors commands. That’s just who I am. It can be seen as a downfall. I’m sure I have pushed people away. But to be knowledgeable, be able to see passed my own bias ideas, and to have the platform of social media, it seems selfish to just be quiet and let ignorance stir.

Most of my old friends from my SMALL ASS hometown are on my facebook. They believe the lies from the media, and they only hear the opinions of their family that has never left the country or even home town in their life. These are small opinions that never seek further education. I could be quiet when I see things, I could. Most of the time I try to ignore debates, because that doesn’t do any one any good, but I do often try to point out a larger picture for them to see.
I have defriended many of these people, or restricted them from interacting with me, because I have a hard ass time dealing with ignorance.

All of my other friends are very progressive. We see a WE country, not an I country. We want to help others, we want to promote love, and in the next four years, we are going to have to do that more than ever before.
I’m tired. I’m exhausted and I am extremely sad as of lately. I never thought an election would be this hard on me.. but it is. I never thought that I would cry every hour, but I have. This election feels much different than before, and it’s because of the fear of all of the progress that has been made in the last two years for equality, and I am terrified of going back to a white male dominated country.



2 Replies to “Blank Walls”

  1. Kaitlin says:

    I’ve been saving this for when I saw something that I knew would set me off in social media knowing that you’d help.

    I haven’t cried today. That’s the positive. Still, people keep saying to get over it. No. I don’t need to get over it. Yes, I’m white. I’m also a woman. I have every right to be afraid for my rights to my body. I also have friends from differing religions, cultures, and sexual orientations who are afraid. I am scared for them. This election has awoken the very much there but very hidden racist, bigoted, sexist, xenophobic monster that we all try to hard to ignore. We know it’s there we just don’t want to acknowledge its presence. When we do, we are attacked and told we at too PC or that it doesn’t exist.

    When I say not my president, I’m not condemning or trying to destroy the people who voted for him. I’m condemning the fact that people could ignore this. When I say not my president, I’m condemning the platform of hate and intolerance he ran on. When I say not my president, I’m simply trying to say this man does not represent my beliefs. I believe our elected officials, especially those who are leading our country, should be the first to condemn hate. Instead, we had someone openly calling for a ban on people of a different religion. I’m saying every trump voter is a racist, but then they can’t go ahead and say every Muslim is a terroist or every young black man is s criminal. I’m calling out the fact they could ignore a man’s comments claiming these things and then get upset when we call them out. Most of my family voted trump. Am I saying they’re all racist? No. They’re still my family and it will take some time for me to get past the fact that they could look past the hate. I will still love them and respect they exercised their right to vote.

    One thing this election has shown me is how much I want to fight for hope, for my beliefs, for community, for inclusiveness, and mostly for love.

    Liked by 1 person

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