at home

The passage of time, the moments in between, and the moments that feel like they stand still.

Alone in our boxes we count down time as it passes. The moments with human engagement seem far and few in between. Our walks outside of our homes are isolated and quiet, allowing us to take pleasure and become one with nature but distant from humans. The nights and evenings are spent physically watching time go by, represented by clocks, clouds, movies, or anything that can fulfill these moments of lack of interaction. Normal days for most of us aren’t filled with to do lists for work, but more unnecessary tasks that could be done at a later time. Moments of celebration, like birthdays and anniversaries are spent alone or creatively apart from our loved ones.

The world feels calm to me but is actually full of chaos. Anxiety of busy days has lessened but OCD and lack of things to do rises. The world outside feels like it’s burning, but feels slow moving in my own personal box. Birthdays have come and gone, people have passed away without any ability to hug or console them, miracles have occurred in my own family with communication through texts or emails instead of face to face. At times the isolation can be therapeutic but also detrimental. Beauty in nature is very present to my eye and to my art, but human engagement is falling away and even ambition to be social is becoming lost.  In this time, pushing ourselves to seek and communicate with others and find joy is all we can do, counting down the clouds and sunsets until we can maybe stand hand in hand again.

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