Tag: eating disorder mentality

Self Care is for Everyone

I’ve been running words in my head endlessly for the last two – three days attempting to figure out the best way to word my stream of consciousness. I guess there are three big bullet points I want to organize in this blog for an easy take away – some

Relapse and Overcoming

I planned on starving this week. Over the weekend, being in the most vegan-junk-food available city: portland, I ate more than usual. Now when I say this I don’t mean I over-ate, I mean that simply I ate more than my body is used to, and what would be probably

The Warmth on my skin

This past weekend I spent in Oregon. Ironically almost every year, besides last, I have been in Portland for work at the end of March, and this year it resumed. This year was a little different. I was honored to photograph a friend from high school marry the most wonderful

Update/ March 14

Tw//Ed post For 2-3 months now I’ve eaten enough for the day, meaning more than 1000 calories; aiming for 1600. I’ve done it almost every day while still feeling guilty or fearful, but I’ve accomplished it. I’ve done yoga daily and lifted about 4 times a week with isolated muscle

Balancing Mindsets

I’ve stated a few times that balancing health, caring about fitness, going to therapy and recovering from an eating disorder is weird… and I’m going to stick to that statement. I’m not sure you do ever get over the struggle of trying to define and refine your boundaries as what

Break up with the Thin Ideal

Teaching theory for college students WHILE you are going to therapy and figuring out your own life’s shit is wild. In the middle of a lecture, internally, I’ll be in the middle of a sentence and just, “AH HA… wow I get it,” not about the lecture, but typically about

The diagnosis

Anorexia Nervosa. Never in my life did I think that word would be written next to my name on a bill, on a therapist note, or even linked to me at all. I think and reflect on the moments that brought me to where I am at today. The comments

The lows

Recovery isn’t all that glamourous. Some days I’ll be talking to my therapist and be thinking, “I really don’t need to be here,” “she’s saying everything I already know,” “I think I have the tools to move forward now,” and then days like today happen. I’m usually pretty good about

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