post that photo any ways

I have some self reflection about aging and self awareness to come in a day that I have more time to write everything down in an understandable way – however this weekly project is actually doing what I hoped it would.

I started to do a 30 day challenge [fitness] on my instagram – inviting whoever to join me. This includes work out routines and a few yoga routines in between. Because not everyone knows yoga, I have had to record myself doing some of the flows to explain how and what to do.

A year ago I think I would have made these videos, looked at myself, either re-recorded them or not posted them at all – but I am getting more comfortable looking at myself – and who I am – and not who I think I need to be. Even the photographs I took today, I would have usually edited my scars, my pores, my ‘flaws’ to society… but I didn’t. I don’t want to.

I’ve gotten tagged in a lot of videos on tiktok asking my opinion about people who have their jaw lines edited, their wrinkles smoothed, their tummies reduced and here is my honest truth:
While I understand the desire to have images of yourself that you think you should ‘look like’ in societal beauty standards, what this is doing is lifting up a fantasized, non-realistic version of ourself that never existed and never will exist. As we age we look back at that photo and feel discouraged that we don’t look like that any more, or that we ‘let ourselves go,’ when the truth is, that version of ourself literally never existed. We cannot compete with the spectacle of what we put out on online platforms. Be very careful of edited images, posting them online, and then referring to them in the future – it causes self doubt, it causes a lack of appreciation for our true selves, it causes eating disorders and dangerous thoughts and over all it steps us further from the self love or body neutrality we all deserve to have.

Siri, play “clean” by Taylor Swift.

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